More Randomness (weekend edition)

Happy Friday everyone! I’m truly happy for this weekend, and I am full of plans! Sometimes those are the best weekends. I start this weekend with (gasp!) play rehearsal, which I actually quite enjoy. The songs are such fun, and I adore my cast mates. Everyone is so fun and friendly. Win win! The show is called “Back to the 80s.” I can only find this somewhat lo-tech Youtube of the show, but it’s gonna be such fun!




Otherwise, I’m going on Sunday evening to see Panic! At the Disco. Love, love these guys. Their songs are so fun and raunchy! It’s been ages since I’ve been to a big act show, and when I found out these guys were coming, I immediately got tickets!

Random rambling today

I’ve been working steadily (but slowly!) on a couple of novels this spring. Both are of the sci-fi genre, and I’ve considered posting excerpts here, but there’s, ya know, fear of many things, like plagiarism and of course, derision. So they are both staying put for now. I’ve two children’s books in the fire, and I really, really want to publish them this year. So I need to stop whining about it here and just DO it!


I’ve an idea for an awesome cookie recipe that I keep wanting to try and post on here (even if it’s a big, fat failure!), but with the play and work, I just haven’t had enough daylight…which brings me to…

The Play!

As I’ve hinted on this blog, I’m currently in rehearsals for a play. I won’t give details yet, but it involves A LOT of Michael Jackson songs. I never realized how difficult some of his music really was. It’s a lot of fun, and it’s been ages since I’ve done a show, so I’m glad, but very, very busy! Makes me want to start up a Fluid Movement type of thing here in San Diego. I miss you Baltimore and your awesome, inviting community theater endeavors!

What else? Something good is on the horizon with my work situation, but I won’t talk about it on here yet, for fear I’ll jinx it. I’m superstitious that way, since I’ve had things not work out before because I talked about them too soon.

I’m doing a major purge currently, so I’ve been ebaying a ton of stuff. It feels so good to breathe again. Why did I need all of this stuff? Moving on…

Have a great Wednesday!

Hoarders

I thought about putting a sample of some of the fiction that I've been working on up, but I'm not ready to do that yet. So instead, I'll write about Hoarders. Ever watch this show? It's basically about people across America (there are probably hoarders in other parts of the world as well, but this show focuses on American hoarders) that have stacks and stacks of just STUFF in their houses. By the time that they are on the show, they are overwhelmed by their possessions, many living in almost (or sometimes completely) squalid conditions.

A theme seems to be ownership of many animals, although some of the hoarders have no pets at all. The primary characteristic is the inability to throw away even the most trivial of items, such as gum wrappers or animal fur (!).

It's actually a pretty sad story, although some seem very content with their situation. I think that we probably all know someone like this: holding on to items that are ragged and useless, or just struggling under a mountain of possessions.

I admit, I like stuff, but watching this show makes me want to clean and purge! I recently went through my closet and got rid of some stuff that I had been holding on to needlessly, as well as selling off or donating books and movies that  I will never read nor watch again. I love the library!

What do you think? Have you ever watched Hoarders?

ABCs of me

Since everyone else in the blogosphere was doing one of these, I figured I'd give it a go!

A. Age: I stopped aging at 26 :)

B. Bed size: Queen. I still feel like I need a bigger bed!

C. Chore you hate: I hate scrubbing dirty pots.

D. Dogs: Nope! I have the best cat in the world.

E. Essential start to your day: Brushing my teeth. Until that happens, I’m still asleep!

F. Favorite color: Pink

G. Gold or silver: Sliver

H. Height: 5’3”

I. Instruments you play: I sing, and I play a little flute.

J. Job title: Technical Writer/Instructional Designer

K. Kids: None

L. Live: San Diego, CA

M. Mom’s name: Cecile

N. Nicknames: Gwenniepenny

O. Overnight hospital stays: Tonsillectomy when I was 7, stomach surgery when I was 29 to remove an abscess

P. Pet peeve: Bigots. Ignorance. Rude people.

Q. Quote from a movie show: “Take car. Go to Mum's. Kill Phil - "Sorry." - grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over. How's that for a slice of fried gold?”

R. Right or left handed: Right.

S. Siblings: Sister

T. Time you wake up: 5 AM!

U. Underwear: Wha?

V. Vegetables you dislike: Onions.

W. What makes you run late: Nothing, really. I’m usually pretty punctual.

X. X-Rays you’ve had: Teeth once a year, plenty of chest x-rays as a child, CAT scan from falling off of a trapeze, MRI and ultrasound over my stomach issue.

Y. Yummy food you make: Bread.

Z. Zoo – favorite animal: I love any type of cat, big and small, and I love flamingos.

I Give Up

For the first time in my life, I am giving up something for Lent. I’m not particularly religious, nor do I wish to have a religious debate on my blog, but I thought that giving up something might be a good exercise in will power and make me more aware of the things that I take for granted.


I decided that until April 23, I will abstain from consuming anything that falls into the category of “dessert” and red meat (which includes beef, lamb, duck, and any game meats).

But I’m a week into this, and lemme tell ya, it’s not easy!

Not eating red meat is really no big deal. I’ve not been much of a red meat eater anyway, mainly due to preference, but the dessert! It really makes me realize how inundated that we are by sweets and stuff all the time. Like getting a tea from Starbucks, I was offered a free ‘cake pop’ (I guess that’s going to be one of their new poor excuses for food? That’s another post entirely). I politely declined, but passing up free dessert (even though I was certain it would be gross) was pretty hard. I had to stop myself twice during the time that the barista was making my tea from telling her that I had changed my mind and wanted the awful things.

And work! If you work in an office, you know how much sweets are provided (well at most offices I’ve worked in). Donuts, Danishes, candies, cupcakes…thankfully, most of it is grocery store bought stuff that I wouldn’t touch even if I weren’t giving up sweets for awhile.

Still, I’m determined to make it, and really, it’s not a big deal. I actually already feel better physically (could be the placebo effect, but I’ll take what I can get!), and I’m already a little more aware that I should probably cut sugar more and more.

Panic attacks

It never seems to fail that once I even mentally acknowledge that things are okay, and that I'm past something, it inevitably creeps up again. I was thinking of this last night, and thought that perhaps rather than saying lesson learned about whatever upset has occurred, we should just say "lesson learned...for now." It seems that the cycles are doomed to repeat, and the heights of happy are soon to be replaced by the anxious and sad. The trick is really learning to acknowledge the anxiety for what it is, and to ride it out as best we can quickly. And perhaps try to fix the item that seems to put us in this place again and again. 

Any thoughts? Anyone?

If I only knew then...

Photo by http://www.flickr.com/photos/brandoncwarren/

I’m having a little trouble with this entry. I was thinking the other day about how there are some things that I’m just learning at 35, and was thinking of the trending Tweet a few months ago about what we would tell our 16-year-old selves. I think that one of my biggest regrets is that I refused (not consciously) to focus and achieve some of my goals early on. However, I feel bad for people that say “If only I could go back to 21…and take my 35-year-old brain with me.”


I was pondering this the other day, thinking that if only I had known then, blah, blah, blah. But really, it would most likely be the same thing…much like The Time Machine, we might still have the same outcomes, because although we would be different, the situation would be no different. My family would still be poor. I might have reacted differently to the bullies at my school, but I’m not certain that it would have affected the outcome differently (ie, they stay put and continue their miserable lives, whilst I moved away and saw the world – ha! Take that!) And I mostly think that I did the best with what I had to work with. Even with my knowledge of the now, what could I have done with a lot of situations in my past? No, I needed the space and freedom of adulthood to grow into my skin and my mind.

I guess I did better things, in a way. I was the first person in my family to graduate from college, and the first to receive my master’s degree a few years later. I worked full-time for over half of the time that I was in college. During most of my 20s, I was in school and working, eyes fixed on gaining the almighty education that would surely reward me with my dreams.

And it did. I’ve a nice home. I live in one of the most enviable places in the US. I’ve a nice wardrobe of clothes (nothing extravagant, but respectable). I have the total Fight Club dream. :)

But in my thirties, I really began to start doing. I made time for things. I stopped worrying about a lot of things (although as you can see from my posts, I’m still pretty neurotic), and focus became much easier. It’s as though my mind calmed a lot. I think about things differently now, and feel that I have many more skills than I once thought (although I am still terrible at math).

Of all of the woulda, coulda, shoulda things on my list of things that I wish that I had done, I really wish that I had embraced healthy eating and exercise a little earlier in life. Like say, 20 years ago. But it’s better that I did it now (the last couple of years) than never.